Dreams and patterns

A girl is allowed to dream. But I dream a lot more than average women. Always have, always will. But what's shocking is how much of that is done while being awake. One of my dreams was to watch a movie with my boyfriend and eat popcorn or something more substantial. Unfortunately none of my boyfriends shared my taste in the art of cinematography. I have had too much of this nonsense. What's wrong with the world? I like good movies, likable movies. Why can't I ever have a boyfriend who likes the same movies that I do? And that doesn't even begin to describe my list of dissappointments in the boyfriend department. One thinks I am too strong and independent, another thinks I am too immature and need protection. Why can't I be in the middle? World is not all in black and white, why can't I belong to grey? I admit that I have a bit of duality in me too. One day I feel strong and confident, ready to take on the world, scoffing anyone who dare take care of me; next day I am moody and depressed, kind of in a cranky mood, biting the head of anyone who speaks to me, or smiles at me; the third day I am an angel, and I can't understand why everyone is giving me a wide berth, no doubt remembering my behaviour the previous two days. But I can't figure it out. The next day, I am vulnerable and a mass of nerves, and I just want to be taken care of like a child. I guess I understand why none of my botfriends ever understand me. But this is my pattern. crazy pattern, no doubt.